Alwan Hassan: How Not to Be A Spokesman
Someone should have stated, let’s have a spokesman from the North in order that we will steadiness it, and the North will really feel included. That is how they went to at least one farm to fetch this fella. The man in his illiterate enthusiasm jumped on the mic and began spewing issues that may greatest be described as childish.
This bobo as soon as went on tv to say that ministers want a second time period for his or her Baba, even when it means the Baba working that time period is riddled with IV drips and strolling sticks. Because, based on him, “ministers paid billions to get the appointments and need the second term to recoup.”
My brother, this was greater than stunning; it was hilariously silly. How can a so-called “spokesman” say this type of factor, regardless that Nigerians know this as a reality in some circumstances, however a spokesman for the ruling get together already struggling with credibility issues to return out and make this type of assertion beats all imaginations. Kai!
So if that one was not sufficient, he went on air once more to speak concerning the 112 emergency quantity. First, as he was talking, I used to be questioning if this one is even regular. Who touts emergency numbers as a presidential achievement? So, with all of the trillions Tinubu is borrowing far and wide, is the emergency quantity one in all his primary achievements in energy? Something that, if the Shomolu Local Government Chairman tries it with me ehn… is what somebody is saying is our president’s achievement? An entire Jagaban? He didn’t cease at that stupidity; he went forward to problem the presenter to dial the quantity now and see. That one promptly began dialling, and the factor didn’t join. He saved prodding the presenter – dial it now, dial it now – and that one too saved dialling, and nothing occurred.
My individuals, an even bigger “mumu” I’ve not seen. This one is even larger than the opposite one which went on Al Jazeera to be completely embarrassed. This one ranks as one of many dumbest issues we’ve got ever seen in our nationwide politics, and it exhibits very clearly simply the place APC stands in this type of factor.
Anyway, I’ve simply learnt that oga could have been relegated, as I’ve simply seen a round from Mr “Gbaja” that solely the Ministers of Solid Minerals, Information and one different individual can communicate on behalf of the Presidential Campaign Council and that every one radio and tv stations ought to take be aware.
Good riddance; earlier than this one will now go and inform us about his oga’s left testicles with the way in which he was going. Kai.
Atiku Abubakar: Going, Going, Going?
Remember, I had reported my assembly with Alhaji Atiku Abubakar the opposite day in Abuja. At that assembly, I had requested him about his “risks”. In response, he talked a few doable cost which will result in an arrest, and I requested how he would react if that ever occurred. He smiled and stated, “In my long career, I have always wriggled out.”
Well, in that dialog, he by no means talked about the potential for a judicial dagger on his ambitions. During the week, a Judge candidly put a short lived halt to his ambitions with a devilish ruling precisely 80 days earlier than the elections.
The decide stated he didn’t recognise David Mark’s faction of the ADC and, as such. each motion they’ve taken stays null and void. This is a stray bullet hitting Atiku’s ambition.
I’m ready to see how he’ll “wriggle” out of this one, as a result of the timing and potential for distraction are simply loopy.
I want him properly regardless that I nonetheless didn’t actually see his possibilities this time round, and with this example, his possibilities have additional diminished to the biblical standing of a camel passing by the attention of a needle. Na wa.
Joash Amupitan: A Test of Character
Being the INEC Chairman has by no means been a cushty seat. The destiny and stability of Nigeria hold in your neck each 4 years, bringing appreciable scrutiny and insufferable strain.
The incumbent shouldn’t be even serving to issues with the way in which he’s going about his duties. The fee beneath him has been ‘fumbling and wobbling’ down the final stretch in the direction of the elections.
From the AI difficulty right down to the Ladi Adebutu matter, the place it has taken a courtroom to remind INEC that they don’t have any energy to take away a candidate.
All these have shaken INEC’s credibility beneath this gentleman and have given plenty of Nigerians credible purpose to doubt the establishment’s neutrality and its capability to conduct a free and honest train come 2027.
It is not any surprise that I personally was not shocked the opposite day once I came across a clip of the INEC Chairman being allegedly heckled on the streets of London.
Apparently he had gone to that Chatham House – what they go and do there continues to beat me – and on his manner out, some Nigerians surrounded his automobile and heckled him.
I didn’t see his face and, as such, can not 100% say that it was him, however the way in which they have been shouting his title, that he ought to come out, left nothing to the creativeness that it was in all probability him.
He revered himself and stayed within the automobile, which was a smart determination as a result of from the anger in that mob, if he had tried himself, possibly we’d be having an INEC Chairman conducting elections from a mattress on the National Orthopaedic Hospital.
Seriously, this INEC shouldn’t be giving us any purpose to be assured, and that is unhappy. Very, very unhappy.
Donald Duke: The Beautiful Bride?
My candidate informed me throughout lunch the opposite day, and as reported right here, that his technique is to be positioned in order that when the inevitable logjam happens, he can be greatest to run away with the baton.
Well, his technique was hinged on the doable “taking of the North” by Atiku, the taking of the South-east and components of the South-south by Obi and the taking of the South-west, components of South-south and a tiny a part of the North by Tinubu, resulting in not one of the larger candidates securing what is required to emerge after which everyone will have a look at the “David” of our elections.
Well, the technique has developed some k-leg with the courtroom ruling in opposition to Atiku. If it stands, will his followers within the North rush in the direction of Donald Duke? That is the query that I’m discovering very exhausting to reply.
So, Donald Duke popping out to say that he’ll stand down for any consensus candidate that will emerge to “fight” Tinubu doesn’t sit properly with me as a result of he’s already the consensus candidate.
He ought to instantly begin pushing that narrative, marketing campaign for it, push for it, as a result of the way in which the entire thing goes, Atiku, who’s gaining plenty of floor, will struggle this courtroom ruling to the tip, but when he sees that he’s shedding out, he might want to kind an alliance that he’ll use to do – if I can’t enter, you too won’t enter – to Tinubu. This is the place Donald can be standing as a ravishing bride to either side.
Atiku would want him to spoil it for Tinubu, and Tinubu will want him not for use by Atiku. But all of those can solely occur if Duke has flesh and has made some highly effective inroads within the North with his PRP.
Hope Uzodimma: Breaking Boundaries
This governor should actually suppose that he’s a member of the British Royal household with the way in which he’s shifting round with an enormous sense of entitlement. Is it that he expects us to face by as he takes a poop and never squirm, regardless of how smelly the exercise will get?
I’ve simply seen a report the place he’s quoted as having stated that he’s not surrendering his senatorial ticket to anybody.
My brother, there’s a courtroom judgment to the impact that you haven’t any senatorial ticket, Oga.
How he desires to be a senator and a governor on the similar time is rankling Nigerians. This entire factor is simply so annoyingly embarrassing, making us really feel like we’re in a banana republic. While we’re at it na, let Bola, as Atiku will name him, kuku go and contest the Lagos State governorship whereas he’s nonetheless president.
I simply tire for this nation, so no person that has sense round him or in his get together hierarchy can pull his ears and say – frequent go and sit down? And this individual is Chairman of one thing on this election o.
Please, Mr. Uzodimma, please respect the rule of legislation and permit due course of abeg. You will not be the primary and received’t be the final; permit us to breathe, abeg. Thank you.
Adams Oshiomhole: What Did You Just Do?
I practically laughed myself off my seat once I noticed Senator Adams Oshiomhole dancing the opposite day. It was at one of many APC marketing campaign stops, and the DJ dropped the beat, and the expensive previous senator began prancing up and down the stage.
His confidence should have been boosted when he and Vice President Shettima did the cockroach dance on stage the opposite day.
Both have been dancing to a unique beat, leaping up and down, throwing their arms within the air, bending their knees and customarily simply doing like individuals in a trance.
Maybe it was the cheers; Senator Adams should have heard that made him strive himself solo the following time. He was sporting a white outfit, sewn in his common bohemian model with APC logos throughout it and with it wanting like a disused white bedsheet that was used to cowl an Ebola affected person.
As he pranced concerning the stage, the gang erupted, and he, mistaking the noise for ‘cheering’, went full blast and began giving us steps solely he can describe.
At some level, I used to be afraid for his again as he squatted, jumped up, rushed to at least one aspect, rushed to the opposite aspect, stood nonetheless, opened his mouth, stood at consideration, opened his eyes….
God even me that I used to be watching began panting – this baba is energetic o, that was what I used to be considering off and began getting frightened for him however relaxed once I remembered that he would get his common ‘AI’ foot therapeutic massage after all of it.
Phew, that was some efficiency. Oshio Babaaaaa!!!!
Isaac Fayose: Standing Tall
During the week, Isaac Fayose, the fiery social critic, turned the poster boy of males’s resistance to the tyranny of ladies. Nigerian girls have, within the final decade, develop into a bone in our necks and have used this rape and sexual assault matter as weapons of destruction. They have perfected the weapon in such a manner that when a person is sadly accused, his life goes right into a tailspin – his popularity goes, his freedom is threatened, and, in some circumstances, he may lose his life.
The girl is the perpetual sufferer regardless of the circumstances. Today, many males are languishing in numerous jails within the nation with nobody taking the time to actually have a look at the details of the matter. Once a lady screams rape, the maxim – harmless till confirmed responsible – is thrown out of the window.
Well, that’s how one “self-styled” Queen of Abuja levelled a rape allegation in opposition to Isaac. She went on social media accusing him of all kinds, and earlier than you knew it, bloggers latched onto the story and went to city.
Isaac got here out very powerfully in his personal defence, requested for proof and threatened civil and legal expenses in opposition to the accuser. She instantly deleted the posts and claimed it was “AI”.
Now Isaac is suing all of the bloggers and also will go in opposition to the accuser.
My individuals, it’s not everybody who’s as daring and has the sources that Isaac has at his disposal, which enabled him to struggle to complete on this matter.
So many males do not need the braveness and sources, therefore their lives being upended. The system should start to punish these false accusers so that it’ll function a deterrent. Men are dying, I swear.
Folake Soetan & Tosin Adefeko: Shutting Down Lagos
These two “sisters” shut down Lagos prior to now two weeks. They hit 50 years of age days aside and didn’t cease at something in celebrating. They stopped a major variety of Lagos social institutions in media, oil and gasoline, finance, and authorities from going to work.
It was one occasion after the opposite – from Lagos to Dubai and again to Lagos, these ladies scatter floor o.
Why would they not be so expansive of their celebrations, as they characterize the perfect in Nigerian feminine “corporateness”? Tosin, also called Tosh, is without doubt one of the greatest PR specialists on this nation, with multinationals queuing up for her providers. She first began in finance and from there moved to PR, the place she peaked as COO at Quadrant Communications beneath the tutelage and mentorship of the legendary Biodun Shobanjo. From there, she shaped her earth-shaking AT3, from the place she perches atop PR observe on this our Nigeria. Tosin is married to the person about city, Ade Adefeko.
Folake, alternatively, was former MD at Ikeja Electric – bear in mind her? She was the woman who fought the Nigerian Air Force to a standstill over non-payment of payments. She is now the MD of one other strategic subsidiary on the Sahara Group, the place she is making waves. Her profession trajectory has seen her begin in aviation earlier than settling on the Sahara Group, the place she is a marvel. Folake is married to my homeboy Dipo Soetan.
Mbok, come and see get together. These two actually know the way to put shindigs collectively, and so they actually confirmed us the way in which.
Happy birthday to each, who occur to be my very shut mates. Well finished, women.
Flying the Flamingos into Turbulence
With the type of loopy finances deficit and him working to the National Assembly to beg them to permit him to go borrowing once more, this Baba continues to be splashing cash like he’s the Saudi monarch.
I’ve by no means seen one thing like this: one hand you might be screaming about lack of funds and the following morning you might be splashing funds far and wide like a drunk spraying Sir Shina Peters.
From the accountable, like the rise in wages of the armed forces, to the ridiculous, Baba has been on a spending spree, making Atiku describe it as an try to purchase elections.
The newest and fairly essentially the most annoying is the N100million introduced as a reward to every member of the conquering Under-17 nationwide feminine crew. Not solely the gamers but additionally the crew, who equally all acquired N50million every.
Now, as a lot as this follows a sample began by the army authorities of General Ibrahim Babangida, at this level it’s simply plain ridiculous. Whatever occurred to scholarships, endowments, life salaries, donations to their colleges, whereas nonetheless giving them little quantities that will permit them to splurge on mates and households and never expose them to “juju” from “aye”.
The donation is irresponsible, knee-jerk, not properly thought out and self-seeking. It could be very clear why it was made, and sadly, it should miss its objective due to our shallow mind-set on this nation.
We will undergo from all this monetary recklessness when the “selection,” sorry, election, is over, and at the moment they may inform us to tighten our belts a bit of bit extra, and we are going to all be strolling round like zombified skeletons. We are actually in hassle on this nation.
